Archive for the ‘Events’ Category

Have you ever met someone for the first time and felt an immediate connection or felt uncomfortable with them straight away? Researchers from New York University found that we form opinions about one another in the first seven seconds of meeting. First impressions count!

Whether we like it or not, people do judge books by their cover. It’s not necessarily a person’s ego at work, but it is a natural human response to survival. When a stranger sizes you up, whether consciously or not, their brain determines whether you are approachable or need to be avoided – whether you are friend or foe.

When you meet someone for the first time, they make an initial overall opinion of you and make that decision through how you present and express yourself.

Several practical techniques can help you develop your verbal and nonverbal communication skills and improve your chances of developing a positive rapport with others within that vital seven-second window and in the minutes that follow.

There are three key elements in which you need to master simultaneously. These are:

• Body language

• Verbal communication

• The art of conversation

Bernard Ross’s book about influence stresses the importance of aligning these three elements to build trust and come across as sincere and likeable:

“When you’re on the receiving end of this clash, you experience a phenomenon called ‘cognitive dissonance’, where the voice and/or body language undermine or work against the meaning of the words.  Think of the ratios involved. Body language accounts for 55% of the communication. Voice for 38%. Words for 7%. That’s roughly 8:5:1. So if the words and the body language aren’t congruent, the body language is eight times more likely to be transmitted than the words. If the body language and voice are consonant with the words, the words become incredibly powerful and we experience that person as being sincere.”

Conversation Starters That Build Rapport

Not sure what to say during those first, few awkward moments?

• Identify commonalities – You may have similar interests or beliefs, you may have grown up in the same area, you have the same skills or talents, or share the same likes or dislikes. Listen to what they say and communicate how you share the same thoughts, experiences, and feelings.

• Share personal information and how you feel -  You shouldn’t get too personal to start with, but you can help build trust and rapport by opening up to the other person and sharing information about yourself and your feelings

Key tip: Begin your efforts in building rapport with focusing on the other person. Show you have a genuine interest in them by asking them questions and getting them to talk to you

Body language speaks louder Than words

You’ll often read or hear me talk about the importance of body language. Your facial expressions, gestures and posture can be the lynchpin that ensures the way you intend to come across is actually how you are perceived. Be aware of your body and signs that may not give off the message you intend.

• Does your facial expression convey friendliness, stress, irritation, or anxiety?

• Are you tapping your feet (implying impatience or nervousness), crossing your arms (implying unwillingness or stubbornness) or biting your fingernails or playing with your hair (conveying uncertainty)?

• Are you making eye contact without staring, or do you completely avoid meeting someone’s gaze?

Key tip: It’s likely you’ve heard me say before you need to maintain open and expansive body language. However, when building rapport, especially if it’s one-on-one, it’s important to try to match the other person’s body language so you don’t intimidate them or clash with their ego.   What kind of verbal impact are you making?

The tone of your voice, the language you use, and the pitch and speed with which you speak also conveys a lot about you.

• Does your tone of voice convey concern, enthusiasm, or interest?

• Are you speaking at the same pace as the other person? If you speak too fast you can come across as over excited or too confident. On the other hand if you speak too slowly and softly you can seem disinterested or inferior. The trick is to match their speed.

• What words are you emphasizing? “I”, “me”, “my”? You may come across a little egotistical. Depending on whom you are trying to build with rapport with, think about what words you should emphasize through your voice and body movement, for example “we”, “you”, “us”, “commitment”, “help”.

Key tip: Aside from the verbal impact that you’re making, what kind of impact are you making as a listener? The number one key to building rapport immediately is to start with the other person – show genuine interest in them by asking questions and listening intently.

Recently the topic of taking risks and being prepared to atempt something new, outside of a comfort zone has been coming up a lot with my Leading Ladies Gold and Diamond members. (Check out my video to them this week discussing this very topic!) It reminds me of a quote from Gandhi: “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”

As children we enjoyed playing with toys and with other kids, we loved learning to draw and paint and play a new sport. We experimented and tried and learnt as we went along.

And we made a bucket load of mistakes!

The fastest way to learn anything is to just try it and learn from your mistakes. You can measure your learning by watching the successes go up and the mistakes go down.

The most successful coaches, trainers and masters I have had the pleasure of working and training with had one thing in common – they had made more mistakes than most other people. That is they were willing to take some risks and fall down. They were willing to look foolish in front of their peers and they participated in whatever they were attempting 100 per cent.

So what happened to many of us once we became adults? Why do we treat making a mistake as a sign of personal failure instead of the learning experience that it is?

The answer is ego, pride and insecurity. We have our personal self worth tied up in our perfection. We forget that there’s only a few jobs, like demolition expert or a brain surgeon, that probably require anything approaching perfection.

Admit it – in your daily life and work I bet you’re not dealing with that kind of pressure. Our resistence to going ahead with new ideas because we might be embarrassed by a little mistake is what keeps us mediocre instead of stepping up and being UNIQUE and awesome!

Mediocre is safe, but boring. Wouldn’t you rather be your Unique, awesome self?

I thought so.

The only way to lose is to stop trying. The only way you fail is not to participate at 100%.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

If you’re truly ready to step up and stand out then join us on 17 October 2012 in Warners Bay NSW, Australia for an amazing seminar – Boost Your Brand: Impact, Influence, Income – secure your spot here.

When starting out in business we often meet many roadblocks, walls, detours, and moments of uncertainty. For us Leading Ladies, this is all part of the natural ebb and flow in our journey to success.

Of the hundreds of women I have coached and in my own experience I’ve witnessed that ALL of us run into these moments, no matter whether you are a start-up or a seasoned expert.

Painting a perfect picture of everything being easy breezy would be inauthentic of me and totally untrue! Truth is that often times life gets in the way, it’s just the way it is.

So why do we as women get so caught up in perfection? Why do we wait until we have a business card before getting out there and networking? Why do we wait until our website is perfect before sending out a newsletter? Why do we wait until we have lost five kilograms before dipping our foot in the PR and media interview space?   Ladies let’s keep it real. It is in these moments of challenge and uncertainty that we need to dig deep and be consistent in our business and keep showing up day in day out.

My own mentor Anne McKevitt will often tell me that its far better to do five things well and keep doing them over and over than try to do 15 things mediocre and have no consistency.

In business this is the reality that some of us are kidding ourselves about. We get sick of our own follow-up process, change our sales presentation or signature talk because we crave more variety but the truth is, if that’s what’s working we should be sticking to it religiously!

Sounds simple enough, right? But how to you execute and stay on track? Leading entrepreneurial ladies Elena Forbes and Jeanmarie Bills share the following five tips to help you stay consistent in your business:

1. Develop a clear plan.

2. Hire a coach.

3. Find a mastermind group.

4. Get out of your head.

5. Take care of yourself.

Our Leading Ladies 100 Day Coaching Program starting on 30 July covers all these five bases. Not only will you have a coach and mastermind to support you throughout the 100 days and help you get out of your own way. You will also be walked through 10 step process to clearly define a plan to get building, marketing and implementing in your business wisely and consistently.

The early bird rate for the program ends this week so hurry and register your interest now. There are two levels of participation depending on where you are at in your business journey:

1 – The SILVER PROGRAM – an online curriculum based program over 14 weeks taking you through step by step how to create a clear vision and plan, master your mindset and marketing, systematise and delegate effectively and stay on track consistently. This is ideal if you are just starting out in your business and want to work through the program at your own pace step by step with a little coaching support. All this for the price of a latte a week – you’d be mad to miss out! Check out more about the 100 DAY SILVER PROGRAM HERE.

2 – The GOLD PROGRAM – this program combines all the benefits of the Silver program with the added bonus of concentrated one-on-one coaching support throughout the program plus the added bonus of weekly masterminding and live in person retreats. If you are looking to have an intimate group of international business women walk side by side with you throughout your entrpreneurial journey then this is for you! Members of the previous gold program were blown away by the power of the mastermind and the leaps forward they made personally and professionally. The Gold Program is true VIP service at an affordable price. Back yourself today and check out the 100 DAY GOLD PROGRAM HERE.

Some women ask me: “Will it work for me? I’ve been a bit of a ‘bright shiny object girl’ in the past and joined other programs and they didn’t do anything. Is this the silver bullet I have been searching for?”

OK let’s be frank. No program works unless YOU work. If you’re expecting this 100 Day Business Coaching Program, or anything else, to magically make you money or make your business boom and your shopping cart go ka-ching, please do not sign-up. This is not some “get rich” quick program, what you’ll find here are serious, planned and structured business ideas and strategies to help you establish a lifestyle business that works. We want our members to Step Up and live the life of their dreams AND we know that takes persistence, tenacity and WORK!

Still have questions? Thought you might - click here to see if Leading Ladies is a fit for you.

Today is the day to step up and into your spotlight gorgeous {tag_recipientfirstname} I look forward to serving you!

Have you ever been in a situation where you weren’t sure what to do when it came to business etiquette?

I recently met with a Sydney rapport building and business etiquette expert, Lady Danielle Di-Masi of Next Business Leaders http://www.nextbusinessleaders.com. My aim in meeting her was to find out if that she had some good advice and ideas and was interested in presenting them at a future Leading Ladies event for business women.

Now let me tell you if ever I’ve felt nervous about acting appropriately this was one time, before I even eye balled her I wondered if I was dressed appropriately for the meeting and what I should do as a greeting – a courteous nod and greeting, a hand shake – and if so how strong?

What do you do in situations like this? Are you familiar enough with your clients and colleagues to hug them, or do you prefer a more formal handshake? Where do you put your napkin when you need to go to the ladies room and do you announce to the table where you are going with a bubbly “I’m just off to the loo”?

It seems there are so many rules out there, and if you’re like me and travel the world you may find it even more daunting as other cultures bring an added layer of complexity to business etiquette. On this day I needn’t have worried so much – upon meeting Lady Danielle as I felt immediately at ease and we built a rapport quickly and effortlessly. It helped that she pointed out that many people are nervous meeting her for the first time and get all wooden and tongue tied wondering if she is judging their behaviour. Her advice was that when you are confident with the basics of business etiquette and appropriate behaviours that you are then able to concentrate on the important things at the function or meeting you are attending such as the purpose of your meeting, what you are there to achieve and who the other person is.

My advice: take a deep breath and relax. You can’t possibly be expected to know all the rules and if you are gracious and humble people will accept that you may not know what is expected from you in a particular situation. And there are some basic etiquette niceties that if you get them right will help them all to get through your working life without too much cause for embarrassment. Lady Danielle made a great point during our conversation that etiquette simply means that you know what is appropriate behaviour in certain times and situations. And this can be very important as you grow and build your business, expand your networks and build a base of people who know, like and trust you.

To hug or to handshake, that is the question

My gut instinct to hugging a business associate is no, and the etiquette expert agrees. In her view there is no need to touch your business associate, ever, because even if one of the people in the meeting is a very close friend it could make the other meeting attendees uncomfortable. In the privacy of your own office with your own team members I’ll leave any decisions about the appropriateness of displays of affection to you. I have been known to hug an employee when they achieved something amazing and I have hugged a client before after they had been through an amazing, emotional breakthrough in a session and needed some additional support as they were leaving the office. However I also am very clear about my professional boundaries and I am very sure these moments were not misconstrued for anything else. While I believe in connecting in an authentic way in business, in our current litigious society I would be cautious about any forms of touching.

Step away from the napkin…

Picture yourself at a networking lunch or dinner where you need to get up for a moment from the table. Napkin etiquette is simple, place it neatly on your chair and excuse yourself. Resist the urge to share intimate details on where you are going; people can guess! When you return to the table, place the napkin straight back on your lap. When you are finished eating at the end of the meal, place the napkin on the left of your plate, not on the plate.

I learnt a lot just in the hour I spent with Lady Danielle – I hope these little pointers give you some food for thought when next you are at a business function. Most importantly remember, you are your brand and how people experience you and your company comes across in everything you say and do and don’t do. Your behaviour influences the way people perceive you, your company, and its value. Be gracious and humble and be on brand, whatever that means for you.